FIC : Objects of love (Maedhros/Fingon, Curufin, Finrod/Amarië, PG)

[petite-dilly.livejournal.com]

Title: Objects of love
Author: Dilly
Characters: Maedhros/Fingon, Curufin, Finrod/Amarië
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Tolkien's world, not mine.



Curufin's eyes were staring at him, clearer, and still.

“Let me relieve you of your burden, brother”, he said, with a voice of deceptive compassion. “You think you love him, with that sick and deviant love… But you don’t. It’s an idea you love, the idea of good, an idea which is actually in yourself. For if you didn’t bear it, you could not have recognized it.”


* * *


Now Finrod was assembling the gold and jewels he had brought from Valinor all around him as in a garland, and he made them grow and multiply, in the deep nest of Nargothrond.

Comments

[hhimring]

Curufin is not even entirely wrong, but not really right, either, is he? (Also, he may have read Plato, but only in order to look for arguments to use...)

That's quite a wicked thing you're saying about Finrod here, but you do have a point!

[petite-dilly.livejournal.com]

Il y a des moments où je pense qu'il a raison, ah ah. Son argumentation par contre ne marche pas vraiment dans le cas de Fingon ! (Fingon est vraiment good)

"(Also, he may have read Plato, but only in order to look for arguments to use...)"
Totalement ! Et c'est d'autant plus ironique qu'il a typiquement le genre de personnalité attribuée aux "méchants" des dialogues platoniciens (je vois bien Celegorm en Calliclès). D'ailleurs, quand je veux faire parler ces deux-là, je pense aux Athéniens de cette époque...

Pour Finrod, je cherchais à faire un parallèle avec le fait qu'il soit parti sans Amarië...

Sinon je me rends compte que je ne l'ai posté sur aucune archive... Il n'y a pas de fautes de grammaire ?

[hhimring]

That's interesting, about your associations with Athens!

Suggestions about the English side of things:
The genitive s and apostrophe is missing after "Curufin".
I think that the title would read more idiomatically as "The object of their love" or "Objects of love", if you think that wouldn't skew the meaning.
I'd suggest replacing "of" in "of that sick [etc.]" with "with" or another preposition.
And you probably need to drop "back" (it sounds as if Finrod had gone to Valinor and returned). If there isn't anything else you'd prefer to do with the extra word, I might make that "as in a garland"

[petite-dilly.livejournal.com]

Merci beaucoup pour ton aide !

[hhimring]

You're welcome!
Sorry I'm not better at this sort of thing!