Lust Objects (Or Why You Should Do Your Research Before BAMFing)

[avendya.livejournal.com]

Title: Lust Objects (Or Why You Should Do Your Research Before BAMFing)
Author: avendya
Word Count: 97 (sorry)
Characters/Work: Legolas and Mary Sues
Adult Content/Pairing: None.
Disclaimer: Not Tolkien (although I would like to have the amount of talent he had), not making any money off of this.

Author Notes: Translations for Elvish after the drabble.



"Where are we, Sue? More importantly, where is he?"
"We're in Mirkwood, he's in Mirkwood."
"Where is he then? Do you see a elf around here?"
"He's not just any elf, Mary, he's a HOT elf."
"Hey! Look! Over there! There's an elf! Let's ask him!"
"Mr. Elf, where could we find Legolas Greenleaf?"
"Le suilon. A le?"
"In English, elf-dude!"
"Pedil i lam edhellen?"
"LEG-O-LAS Greenleaf."
"Leggy, you mean."
"Legolas? Eneth nîn Legolas."
"We. Need. To. Find. Legolas."
"Yes, elf-dude. Legolas. Surely you’ve met him."
"Nin thelich?"
"Stupid elf."
"Let's go home."
"Yeah. No Legolas here."



"Le suilon. A le?" - Greetings. And you are?
"Pedil i lam edhellen?" - Do you speak Elvish?
"Legolas? Eneth nîn Legolas." - Legolas? My name is Legolas.
"Nin thelich?" - You mean me?

Comments

[avendya.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I feel special now, being complimented by a writer as talented as yourself.

(BAMFing is the miraculus power that Mary Sues have to appear in Middle Earth.)

[ithiliel-silver.livejournal.com]

You should feel special. You are special. How could I not comment on such a great piece of writing?!

Ah, thank you for the clarification! I try to stay as far away from Sue-dom as I can, so I'm not really up to speed on the terminology. :)

-Ithiliel

[avendya.livejournal.com]

*blushes*

Join GAFF - you'll be kept up to date, to say the least. (Don't mention your age though. It's now adults-only.)

[ithiliel-silver.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'd better not, then! Even if I don't mention my age, I usually do something mindless and immature eventually, and that's the end of the game.

Besides, I've glimpsed enough of the horror of Sue-ness to be permanently scarred. I don't need any more of it! *runs away*

-Ithiliel

[avendya.livejournal.com]

You aren't scarred until you've made it through Celebrian... *tries to repress memories*

Have you read 'legolas' by laura? Or listen to the tape?

[ithiliel-silver.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I've never heard of those.

Do I really want to know...?

;)

-Ithiliel

[avendya.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes you do. Here's the audio version of the infamous Legolas by Laura (http://www.reallybadfanfiction.com/Fanfics2/prologue.mp3).

[avendya.livejournal.com]

Text is here (http://www.freewebs.com/me_gaya/legolas.html). Read it. Try not to die laughing.

[ithiliel-silver.livejournal.com]

*eyeballs are scalded*

Legolas said"I am soo happy"and then Laura said"Do you want to be my boyfriend"and then Legolas said"yes I will be your boyfriend"and then Laura and Legolas kissed again.

That is wrong on SO many levels.

*limps off*

-Ithiliel

[avendya.livejournal.com]

Isn't it great? Makes you so proud of your fandom...

[ithiliel-silver.livejournal.com]

Indeed... *feels ill*

-Ithiliel

Legolas and Laura

[jay-of-lasgalen.livejournal.com]

Ah yes. I've read this before. It's *so* bad I can't decide if it's deliberate or not. Surely no-one can write that badly?

Re: Legolas and Laura

[avendya.livejournal.com]

No one knows. I hope she's a troll...